Friday Fresh Fruit

'The apple is red, but the red has NOTHING to do with Bemfica.'

'What colour is this?'
'It's red, but it looks yellow on paper!'

With pride: 'Teacher, for the colour orange I drew an orange'.

Belligerently: 'Teacher!'
'Yes?'
'Não sei que toilet?'
'You mean May I go to the toilet?'
'Isso mesmo. Ummm, yes.'
'Yes, you may'.
'Obrigada. Ummm, thanks.'

Urgent matter: 'Teacher!'
'Yes?'
'Do I write in pen or pencil?'
'Pencil is always better. If you make a mistake you can rub it out and start again.'
'O.K.'
That same moment, the child sitting next to this one waves his hand desperately: 'Teacher?'
'Yes?'
'Pen or pencil?'

'Tell me a number between one and five. In English.'
'Seis'. (Portuguese for 'six')

At the end of the day, teeth brushed, Kira in bed, lights off. Silence. Then she asks:
'Mica, can you die of stress?'

Lords and Ladies

Lords and Ladies

After meetings and discussions, a decision: There Shall be a Christmas show this year! Parents are invited.

This is a big deal. Every school show so far has been planned, rehearsed and performed just for us, children, teachers, cleaners and cooks – most of whom had already been bored stiff at rehearsals and made costumes and brought the snacks too.

I've always wondered why no parents? Christmas, Easter, End-of-Year – and never a parent in sight. Their kids are already away most of the time. Why aren't they breaking the gate down on the last day of term, invited or not, demanding to see their kid in a show?

Anyway, a few English carols are on the menu, and we are rehearsing. The fourth years are learning Away in a Manger. We read the words, we translate.

We get to 'the little Lord Jesus'. 'O pequeno menino Jesus' they say what their carols say. The little baby boy Jesus. 'Lord doesn't mean menino' – this one should be easy. 'Senhor, they shout devoutly, o pequeno Senhor Jesus'. Muito bem, excellent. By the time we get to 'the little Lord Jesus asleep in the hay', many are misty eyed with the beauty of the scene.

I take them a step further. OK so 'lord' is 'senhor', what is 'senhora'??? They don't know. 'Lady', I say and smile, so glad to see that look of delight and understanding burst on their faces. So foolish of me.

'Lady Gaga'! they shout, they are so pleased to have found such an illustrious example. Some jump and chant. O senhor Jesus e a Senhora Gaga!

I think we're getting right into that Christmas spirit. We'll sing 'Away in a Manger' and 'Alejandro', possibly together as an energetic pop-soul mix, set against fluorescent straw bales and dumb beasts dressed in tan leather.